


It wasn't enough.

by genderneutralnoun



Category: MCSM, Minecraft (Video Game), Minecraft: Story Mode - Fandom
Genre: Angst, Angst With Inconclusive Ending, Anxiety, Friends try to help but don't understand, Gen, One-Shot, all that lovely stuff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-07
Updated: 2016-11-07
Packaged: 2018-08-29 17:10:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,035
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8498311
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/genderneutralnoun/pseuds/genderneutralnoun
Summary: One-shot that originally was a different take on some stuff that happened in Episode Eight, then turned into this.





	

Jesse trudged wearily through the snow, arms held around herself as she tried not to think of what she’d agreed to. Even so, it kept invading her mind, like a gray cloud that hadn’t realized that the storm was over.

As she reached the gate, Lukas was there to open the gate. “You’re back!”

“I am,” she replied quietly.

“What happened?!” Petra was close behind Lukas, looking more worried.

Jesse took a deep breath. “Um,” she hedged. “Well, uh… Hadrian’s… kinda got Olivia and Axel.”

This was met with exactly the reaction she’d expected. “What?!” Petra exploded. Ivor had arrived just in time to hear the interjection, and looked questioningly at Jesse.

“Hadrian’s got Axel and Olivia,” Jesse repeated to Ivor, then hastily added “But they’re fine! He won’t hurt them. And, uh, he’s got a guy that has the same name as Reuben. That’s not the point, though.” _And here comes the whopper._ “The point is… he offered me… he offered me a deal. He’ll let everyone go home- you guys, Axel, Olivia, the other Reuben- if I agree to stay and work in the mines. Forever.”

There was a shocked silence. Petra was the first to break it. “But… you didn’t accept it… did you?”

Jesse wished she had the bravery to either lie and say no, of course not, or tell them the truth, but all she could do was stare at the ground.

“No,” Petra’s voice was barely more than a whisper. “No. I can’t let you do that. I _won’t._ ”

“Problem is,” Jesse said bitterly, “that I already have.”

“No you haven’t,” she insisted. “Call off the deal, or make a new one, or _something-_ just please don’t do this. We’re not worth you.”

“I think we can agree to disagree here.”

“No we can't. Because we're _not._ If it was me-”

Jesse interrupted. “Exactly. If it was you, and you had the chance to save everyone…”

“...I guess I would.” Petra sighed. “But that's not the point! You're the one in danger, not me! You're more important!”

“That's what I don't agree with.” Jesse hugged herself, her voice quiet. “Even one of you would be worth far more.”

“But that’s not right! That’s exactly the opposite! You’re the leader!”

“I never wanted to be.”

The words could barely be heard, but they stopped everything as powerfully as if she had yelled them.

“I never wanted to,” Jesse curled in on herself, dropping to the cold ground. “I couldn’t do it. But I had to. And then everyone just assumed… that I could keep on doing the impossible. I’m not a leader, because a leader has to accept loss and hold responsibility. I can’t do that.”

“But you have.” Petra’s voice was artificially bright, she was trying to cheer Jesse up.

“I can’t keep doing it. I’m sorry.” Jesse felt like she was being pulled into the ground. She had kept at it for so long, kept her fear to herself, only to fail when her friends most needed her. Like she had failed Magnus, and Reuben, and all those nameless others.

This would be simpler. Give herself up and save her friends. And, she thought guiltily, never have to face this insurmountable fear.

No one spoke. After a small eternity, Petra and Lukas trudged back to the house, Lukas only stopping once to glance back at Jesse.

Ivor frowned at their departing backs, then turned to Jesse. He opened his mouth as if he was going to say something, then closed it, opting instead for helping the girl up. “No sense catching a cold,” he said lightly.

 

After dinner, Jesse didn’t feel like talking, so she retreated to another room, hoping that would send a signal. Unfortunately, Lukas didn’t pick up on it, or just chose to ignore it.

“Hey.” He sat down on the long couch next to her. She scooted away slightly, sending thoughts of _Not now, not now, not now_ at him. As ever, he was oblivious.

“I wanted to say something to you to try to make you feel better,” he said. “That okay?”

 _No_ was her first reaction, but she was curious what he could possibly think would make her feel better.

“Sure.”

“Um. You’re, uh, not very good at reading people, are you?”

“How is that supposed to make me feel better?”

“No, no! I meant. Um. I was trying to tell you something about Petra. She doesn’t hate you, you know.”

Was Jesse that easy to read? She’d been nervous during dinner. Petra hadn’t spoken to her at all, and she had really, really thought Petra was upset with her. She didn’t like it when any of her friends were upset with her, especially Petra.

“She’s just disappointed.”

“Oh, wow. Best cheering session ever.” Jesse hated that she was being snippy, but she couldn’t help it.

“I- oh gosh. I’m sorry, please let me finish! She thought- thinks- that you’re stronger than this. She believes in you, I mean to say. We believe in you. If you just-”

Jesse stood up. “I’m sorry, but you’re wrong. I’m going to bed.”

She walked through the door and closed it behind her quietly, whispering something to herself just before going upstairs.

“I’m not strong enough.”

 

Jesse lay in bed, too awake to sleep but too tired to not.

She felt stretched between two things. Try for what her friends asked of her and return to the stress of being a leader, or save them for sure and never be looked at again?

She didn’t know. And according to them, she still had a choice.

The worst part was not knowing.

 

By morning, she hadn’t slept, and hadn’t made up her mind.

She was shown to the corner of a arena. Walls of sand separated her from the other contestants. In the place she was situated, bare sand and a few dead bushes glared back.

She had absolutely no chance. As Hadrian announced the start of the time, an idea occurred to her- maybe she could have convinced the others to help out, and they could have beaten the gladiators together. But it didn’t matter. It was too late.

It had already been too late.

**Author's Note:**

> Magnus is mentioned as the one who died, but only because I had too, and I can never remember what spelling of Ellagard is right.


End file.
